a phrase i've latched onto.

makes me feel better a lot lately. 

near year's resolutions check-in.

did you know today, july 2, is the exact halfway point of the year? yup. kinda nuts it's already here, huh? i agree. so, figured today was a good time to check in on where i'm at with the 2013 goals i wrote on january 1.

1. be present. be in the moment. focus on the conversation at hand. 

personally. professionally. don't get distracted by other things. be present. listen, take it in & digest it.

2. dwell less.

yeah, it's always on the list. but i swear i'm getting better. 

3. more vitamins. 

another repeat, but i did do pretty good last year so here's to hoping for daily.

4. lose the word "busy" from my vocabulary.

i was even annoying myself at how often i used this word. we're all busy. and busy is totally subjective. busy to me may be your most relaxing day. we're all dealing with jobs, kids, life. "how was your day?" "busy"- find another descriptor. dig deeper, people. 

5. step-up my skin care products & regimen. 

i find it so overwhelming. facials? easy. but skin products? so many decisions and marketing. bleh.

6. read my magazines or unsubscribe.

digital and print. enough said. this goes for online newsletters and catalogs, too.

7. make more time for hobbies. 

i love to DIY. i've got a new sewing machine & an dresser dedicated to supplies. do it. use 'em.

8. cook more. eat less. 

i love to dine out and have a bit of a portion control problem. if it tastes good, i'm not stopping.

9. go shopping in my own closet.
it's okay to re-wear outfits. and even be photographed in them - twice (ah!) get creative. mix & match.

10. be a hostess, not hostress
they. are. friends. they don't care if you have fresh flowers or a perfectly clean house. it's just about spending time together. in fact, they'll probably appreciate your relaxed approach (less pressure on them when they reciprocate) and you'll have more fun chatting verses stressing about the lighting & the playlist. let your friends pour their own wine - if they judge you, consider your friendship. imagine how much more we'd all just "stop by" if we didn't push pressure on each other to whip up Pinterest looking cheese boards and come with a bow-tied hostess gifts in hand. a bunch of my girlfriend's and i have talked about being better at this... and it's awesome. i used to panic if danny sprung on me that he invited jack & jane over without any notice. his response, "i think we have some hot dogs and chips - nobody cares." i would immediately start flying around the house and off to the grocery store i'd go. stress. but you know what? if they're legit friends, they really don't care... just always keep a fully stocked bar ;)

overall, i'm doing pretty good. some much better than others. i just hate taking horse pills. 

... how are your resolutions going? 

a thought that's stuck with me & will now be a guiding principle.

a mama's influence.

mother's day used to be pretty straightforward. my mom + her day. and while it'll always be about my mom, each may, the list of wonderful moms in my life grows a little longer.

my wonderful mother-in-law, my sister-in-laws who gave me beautiful nieces and a nephew, and (so many!) of my dear girlfriends who are now on the other side of celebrating the holiday.  

you were all on my mind today. 

lately, i've thought a lot about how much i genuinely love talking to each of you and listening to your stories and points of view about pregnancy, parenting and life with kids. the bits of advice. the candid conversations only daughters, sisters and girlfriends can really have. i reflect and mentally file them all away.

i'm not quite ready to be a "real" mom yet (and that i expect a little special treatment this day for being a mother to huntie drives danny nuts), but i already know that my mom-style will be made up of bits of all of you. for real.

like each of you, i anticipate i'll have my own approach, strengths and challenges, but without a doubt i'm already better off for knowing each of you mamas. from instagram and blogs to happy hours and skype, i feel fortunate to have an inside and inspirational look into motherhood with so many wonderful moms. i imagine my admiration for you will only grown when i have a child of my own. until then, i hope each of you had a perfect mother's day. xo

a mother's day skype session with shmer and her two littles down under - dyllbug & ellie

the focus of the conversation: dyllan's new ballet shoes. too cute.

happy heavenly birthday, tone.

today we'd celebrate tone's 30th birthday in a big way.

she was never one who wanted the spotlight, but tone did love her birthday. 

i'm pretty sure that's because it was always the perfect reason for her to splurge on a new outfit (mandatory), 

get her hair & make-up done (her favorite) and round up her best gals for a fun dinner, night out dancing and sometimes even a hotel room to boot (the ritz, anyone?). 

it'll be sad to not talk/text with you today. i sure hope you're having the most fabulous 30th birthday party in the sky.

xoxo

a past birthday post & photos for tone here and a tribute to her life here. 

in honor of her 30th birthday, i sent photographs and a letter to a couple of her family members to share my favorite memories and what it meant to me to have sarah in my life. i hope some fresh, fun memories and photos will help ease some of today's inevitable pain. i know reminiscing with others really helps me. 

looking back at 2012.

{our last photo of 2012. just hours before the ball dropped}

all in all, 2012 was a damn good year with some significant milestones for us:

we finally sold our home. 

we moved downtown into a little tudor we adore. 

danny turned 30. 

we purged a ton of stuff & got super organized.

i advanced my career with the start of two new jobs (so weird).

we both hit health & wellness goals. 

i continued chronicling our memories via this blog.

we made new friends and strengthened existing relationships.

we made a decision to keep our phoenix zip code and really embraced our city.

we toasted 10 years together as d & t.  

here's to hoping for an even better 2013 for us, our family & friends! 

i've got a good feeling about it.

new year's posts from the past: last year here, NYE 2011 here & here.

---

my fortune cookie spoke the truth.

right when i thought i had everything in control and my career train was comfortably cruising along, i got a call.

it wasn't something i was looking for or saw coming, but it was worth listening. and after many subsequent conversations, pros & cons lists and sleepless nights.... i decided to take a leap of faith and steer my professional train down a new track.

it's bittersweet. it's exciting. it's nerve wrecking. and it wasn't a decision that i took lightly, but i'm totally ready for this new experience. for a new set of challenges and even more opportunities to learn and grow.

so wish me luck... today's my first day at the new gig. 

thanksgiving '12.

after all of yesterday's food was put away, the candles were blown out and everyone was tucked in to bed, i got emotional. as we stood brushing our teeth, i welled up and told danny how incredibly thankful i am for him... for us... for our everyday life we live together. he's more of a man than i could have ever asked for and it all just keeps getting better. i almost feel guilty for how happy i am right now. at this moment, i couldn't ask for anything more. life is good. it's a feeling i wish i could bottle up and keep forever. 

i hope your hearts and bellies are as full as ours this holiday season. xo

nobody cares, but this is an awesome day in my life, so i'm documenting it.

my tailbone no longer hurts.

have you ever really bruised/fractured/slammed your tailbone? holy sheet. that's not something i hope to do again. on the morning of sunday, october 28th i managed to give my rump a run for the money and i've been in severe pain ever since. like can't roll over in bed, bend down to put my shoes on and if danny squeezed me too tight in a hug i'd burst into tears -- that kind of pain.

i've been rocking the donut on my seat at work and live for ice packs in my pants. it's been real sexy.

buuuuttttt (literally).... i woke up this morning and i think my bum is back to normal. hooray. this is EXCITING.

and the gold star winner of the week goes to....

a little shout out to d for being the best husband, friend, counselor, calmer, nurse and chauffeur around. when the going gets tough, d steps-up and goes above & beyond to make me feel better. i couldn't ask for a better partner. it's weeks like these that i'm reminded how very lucky i am. love - you deserve a dozen gold stars. you meant it when you said it - for better for worse, in sickness and in health... xo

forever in our hearts and minds.

this last weekend, friends from across the country traveled to phoenix for tone's funeral. i think we were all expecting for the funeral to make it feel more real, but there's still something so surreal about the situation.

it was an unfamiliar feeling for all of us to be together for anything but a celebration. early sunday morning, with our husbands by our side, we gathered at our home for long hugs and bittersweet smiles - all in unfamiliar territory. it was so good to finally be together since hearing the news. it was one of the longest weeks ever and distance between us was almost unbearable. we so needed some time together before having to say goodbye to tone.

a rabbi, friends and family all gathered under the desert sun for tone's beautiful graveside service. through the tears, people spoke of tone's love of life and her vibrant spirit. stories were shared that shed light on the many different ways tone had impacted people throughout each stage of her life.

still at her graveside, tone's dad bill embraced each of us. he sweetly whispered comforting words and told us how much she loved her time at arizona - especially being an alpha phi. with a smile, he told us that he knows many of our stories - even the ones he probably shouldn't. as we all stood together in a circle, he reached into the breast pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out a photo of us college girls wearing crazy hats. the photo already feels dated and now those memories are sweeter than ever before. it was us. together. happy. we all laughed and smiled together.

we did the same with tone's mom, rita. petite like tone with an eerily similar laugh and mannerisms, we told her stories from our travels across the united states and europe together and then we listened as rita told us tone would be so mad if she knew she was telling people her nickname - sarah pie.

as friends and family from each of tone's 29 years reminisced about her, one of the reoccurring themes was how much she loved to help people. she had a "can do" attitude in her own life and genuinely believed that anyone could accomplish what they put their mind to. one particular story was about one of tone's clients who made jewelery. tone happily agreed to wear her creations to help promote her designs. the woman credits tone with giving her the courage to quit her day job to pursue a full time career in jewelery design and production.

before the services, tiffany gave each of us a little token of remembrance that was handmade by that same woman. we each received a dainty gold bracelet with the symbol for infinity - which also resembles the number 8. perfect. we'll forever remember tone. we'll forever miss her and forever be friends... the eight of us.

 we need to remember that life is precious.

just one month ago we were dancing and laughing with tone in las vegas. we voted her "MVP" of the weekend. she arrived full of energy and with a renewed zest for life. she was taking haircuts like a champ and was the good luck charm on the blackjack table. her stories had us laughing so hard we were actually crying. we hadn't seen tone that happy in a long time - she was the very best version of herself and it was wonderful to see. i'll be forever grateful for those moments with tone.

 

some nice news article's about tone's california memorial here, here and here.

thanks to all our family and friends who've reached out to offer their love, support and condolences. it means a lot.

a tribute to tone.

you just assume that you'll grow old with your girlfriends. that you'll go through ups and downs, but they'll always be there. without a doubt you'll be at each other's weddings and you'll become moms together. we just assumed that there'd forever be eight girls on the email chain to plan weekend getaways and share life's updates. and then, something tragic happens, one of your girlfriends is gone and you're left feeling numb. 

on friday, september 14, one of our eight, sarah leaf - better know in our world as "tone" - had her life cut short in a horrible bicycling accident. the news shattered us. each of us in denial, many of the phone calls were silent - girlfriends miles apart just sitting on the line unable to believe the news was true. there's no way this was happening. 

in college, tone quickly earned the reputation in "our group" as the girl who would do anything for anyone. she was nicknamed "sarah two-tone" for her two-toned hair color which was shortened to "tone" - and the name stuck. in fact, many people around campus had no idea that sarah was her given name. thinking back to those college days makes me smile. her dorm room that hosted many of our late nights. her purple caboodle. her love of the Guess brand. me and her driving around in "the beast" singing country music at the top of our lungs. coming home to our alley house and finding her laying out on the front stoop in 100+ heat. her saran-wrapped as a butterfly for halloween. her green decor at our house senior year. me and her playing crazy games of racquetball at the rec. her and colby's old-man-old-lady married relationship. her shaking her booty on the dance floor any chance she got. those four years we all spent together - all day, every day - may have been the happiest in our lives. 

born and raised in arizona, tone always had big dreams of the california lifestyle. after UA graduation, she packed up her little red car, headed west and made her dreams come true. colby and her shacked up in orange county and for tone, it was love at first sight. she loved (my girlfriends can hear her saying this in her voice) her city and took advantage of everything it had to offer. she spent as much time as possible outside... she'd run on the beach and take long walks. she soaked up california - she loved it. she loved her life. it was the life she had always dreamed of.  

not long after settling into her new zip code, tone fueled her passion for health and nutrition. she was incredibly active - running, biking, swimming and training for triathlons with the "tri-divas."  tone dedicated both her personal and professional life to being healthy and helping others achieve the same goals she had. she self-built a professional nutrition consulting business and her success can be credited to her love of helping people. she truly cared about each of her clients and wanted them to feel the best they could. 

i'll forever remember tone for her crazy recipes and homemade health meals. for her quirky independent ways and never-ending list of errands. for her dedication to her family. for her random love of chocolate martinis and short time working at "the bird." for owning and experimenting with her personal style. for her ability to never complain or hold a grudge. for her quiet yet tenacious spirit. for her infectious laughs and insanely amazing back scratches that she was always happy to oblige me with (boy how i'll miss those). i'll miss her lackadaisical attitude and telling the rest of us to relax and, "you guys, it's not a big deal - haha." 

looking through photos i have to smile through the tears. tone's life was cut way too short, but damn did she pack a lot into her 29 years. she really did live it to the fullest. she studied in the south of france and loved to travel. she never missed a girl's weekend or a happy hour. she celebrated each of our milestones with sincerity. the thousands of memories with tone will forever live on in our hearts and minds... the seven of us will make sure of it.

the crazy eight

the eight of us, the night of our university of arizona graduation.

the 8 at the del mar horse races in 2009.

all eight in NYC in 2007.

crammed into jenny's tiny NYC apartment.

all eight of us crammed into a single booth at trident in 2003.

celebrating tone's 22nd birthday in tucson, arizona.

all eight in seattle for shmer & dan's wedding.

all together in phoenix in 2006.

celebrating carlye & jeremy in 2009.

alpha phi pc '01

the eight of us together for a wonderful girl's weekend in manhattan beach. 2010.

acapulco, mexico in 2005.

together in the windy city in spring '09.

the tonehead, stone, tone that we've loved through the years...
i hope these bring back a flood of memories and make you smile.

rest in peace, tone. 

i still can't believe this is real. 

what the day looked like when i turned twenty nine.

a gloomy summer day outside from our front window // my crazy frenchie wouldn't sit still with his mama

greeting cards and sweet gifts // bright cheery flowers + a pineapple candle

wine on a teal couch at lux // full blown summer down pour 

card from mom & dad schramm // me with my mustached ting

september 4th menu // my choice: fried rice with farm vegetables & white wine

my favorite little spot: lux // talking about the bittersweet moments of a birthday

rainbow fruit bowls // my love

walking up to lux // ting taking charge of the cocktails

a day of firsts for people we love.

hi, i'm alive.

it's pretty sweet how the texts & emails start coming from friends & family when i don't blog or communicate for a few days.... especially following a very blog worthy girls weekend. apparently people do read this thing.

"are you okay? where are you?"

hello, all. i'm alive. i'm well. i'm just insanely busy at work and it all started the second i landed back in phoenix. like, i don't really remember the last time when my inbox, phone log or outlook calendar looked like this. #brainfried.

let's just say, i can add crisis communication public relations to my resume. for reals.  

danny gets a gold star for having food & wine on the coffee table when i get home. i eat, sleep and then push restart.

lots of fun photos from my getaway girls weekend plus other updates coming soon. xx

{this has been me & my world lately}



when decisions get tough...

i haven't found a quote i love this much in a very long time.

it's so true, huh?

since seeing it, i've already referenced it a handful of times - especially during our recent move.

it's a good one.

lacey jaye, this one is talking right at you... do it & get back to me ;)

cooking in our new galley kitchen.

after just a week in our new home, we were feeling settled enough to make dinner and spend the night in front of the TV. we're so over take-out. it's funny how the novelty of take-out and fast food so quickly wears off when it doesn't feel like a treat. at least it does for us. after just a few days you can physically feel the difference.

so on monday night for the first time in our new house, we made dinner together. it was nice to get back to an old familiar routine... home from work, cocktails and catching up, making dinner and then coffee table style eating and catching up on our recorded list of TV shows before reading in bed.

we made pesto pasta with spicy chicken sausage and roasted brussells sprouts using a modified version of this recipe (we replaced the pasta with trader joe's pesto-filled mini ravioli). yum.

and a bonus of the meal was making danny clean-up and put the dishes away so he could "learn where everything goes" since i unpacked the kitchen.

iPad with our recipe on the dining room table

one of my favorite parts of the kitchen. an open nook above the microwave for accessible recipe book storage

i'm also loving having a few glass cuboards

hooray! a gas stove back in my life

a big 'ole kitchen sink

our delicious and totally sinful meal.